When and How I Met Him Part 1

Here I am chilling out here inside my bedroom while listening to my all-time favorite love songs. I have stumbled upon “When I Met You”, an APO Hiking Society classic, which was revived several times. I am amazed with Sarah Geronimo’s version. Her sweet voice touched my soul. I remembered how I met my then-boyfriend and now husband, how our love story started. Some call it love at first sight. In reality, it was not. We call it destiny. It was a love story that was five to ten years in the making. Only God knows the exact waiting period of our hearts. What matters most was when we committed ourselves to each other on that fateful day, we never let go ever since.
My husband fondly remembers how he, as a high school student, was introduced to me, who was still an elementary grader, by my uncle and his friend. They dropped by the house to borrow my dad’s motorcycle helmets. However, I don’t remember this particular incident anymore. I did not have a diary back then so life was undocumented. I was probably in Grade six if I am not mistaken. He said he was intrigued by my unique name, and welcomed the idea of having a girlfriend like me, who was not from the same town where he lived.
My first vivid memory of us meeting each other was when I was fifteen, and he was seventeen. It was the annual fiesta in my grandparents’ place. My family was there with the rest of the clan. He was there as one of the guests of my uncles, my mom’s first cousins. He was also a friend of my cousin. We interacted on the same circle so we had the chance to be introduced to each other. We played badminton and watched a basketball game on television. Even if we have talked for a few hours only, I sensed that I have known him more. We share the same birthday month – October, so we connected. I developed a crush for him because he seemed naturally sweet and very funny. Of course, I confided this secret to my cousin, who did not approve of this feeling. She said he had this reputation as a playboy, and even if he expressed that he was interested in me, I should not fall prey to his charms. I tried to suppress my feeling, and carried it for a year or two. Nevertheless, I have remembered him several times and secretly wished to see him again. We had chance encounters, only acknowledging each other’s presence, but they were uneventful. I heard he already had girlfriends so I played it cool and acted as if it did not really matter at all. Honestly, for some funny reason, I resented the bad news secretly. I realized I still had that crush for him after all those years.

Missing Me

My life seemed uni-dimensional ever since my husband left for work abroad. I just became a mother to my Little Gavin. My universe revolved around him, taking care of him, and addressing his needs. This is not to complain about motherhood. In fact, I am enjoying it very much. I just sensed some things were amiss ever since May 2009.

It has been four long months that I considered myself a single mom, because nothing can really replace the physical presence of my dear husband. I became a part-time daughter because even if I get to see my parents on a daily basis, we have had less meaningful tasks. They have their careers and their own concerns. I became a part-time sister, because all my siblings are either busy in school or busy at work or busy with their own worlds. I became a non-existent friend. I used to spend a lot of time with my old pals from elementary and high school. Then, time became less and less scarce as years passed by. When I went to college, had three jobs and got married, I saw them less and less frequently.

Even if I have social networking accounts where I can be kept abreast with what’s happening with my significant others, I still miss them. Again, nothing can replace person-to-person communication. I miss the loving kisses, warm hugs and sweet moments with my husband. I miss the easy banter and meaningful talks with my whole family over breakfasts, lunches and dinners. I miss chit-chatting, watching movies, social drinking and bar-hopping with my friends. Life without these and without them is empty. I don’t have my precious time with them, not by choice, but by circumstance. I miss my old life. I miss the old me. When can I get out of this rut?

Bitter and Sweet

One concrete example, not of an OFW but of a sacrificial mom, is my dear friend. She recently arrived from Los Angeles last August. It was no ordinary vacation. She has to be here for two months to let her newborn baby adjust to the new environment. She has to leave him in her mother-in-law’s care for two long years. Even it was so hard for her to do that, as she was a stay-at-home and hands-on mom for almost four years, she made the choice to study practical nursing in California. Being married to a US citizen Filipino man in his fifties, she knows that when her husband will retire ten or fifteen years from now, she will be the breadwinner. She has to invest for their family’s financial future by studying now. She has to sacrifice her time for her baby now so that both her children won’t sacrifice in the future. She left last night, and knowing her, she may have very strong on the outside by not crying in front of her mother-in-law, but her heart was bleeding. She did not even allow her child to be taken to the airport. She said he might sleep and it was already too late. She was saying that to spare her from further pain. I will miss my friend and she said she would me. However, I know in my mommy heart, she would miss her baby even more.

My Separation Anxiety

In a mother’s lifetime, she has to endure many sacrifices for the sake of her child. It is one of her many ways of expressing her unconditional love for them. One of the most painful sacrifices a mother has to undertake is to be physically separated from her child. There are many reasons why a mother has to leave her child but no matter what the reason is, her most ultimate reason is she loves her child so much. Leaving is for the child’s sake, securing the child’s future.

There are many Filipina mommies who assume the role of being breadwinners in their families. They become nurses, domestic helpers, entertainers outside the country. They become OFWs. The National Statistics Office highlighted that almost 49% of Overseas Filipino Workers are women.

One of the biggest sacrifices I have to undertake as a mom is the sacrifice of leaving my son even for two weeks because of chickenpox. I can’t let him catch the virus, even if he got the vaccine. I love him so much to let him suffer as a toddler. Aside from the rash, blisters, scabs, scars, itch and fever, there are possible complications such as pneumonia and encephalitis. Even if I was just on the other room, and he was on our room with his babysitter, it was bittersweet for me to listen to his cries of sadness. I know he missed me so much. His nanny kept on narrating his daily accounts of coping with the fact that I was not there beside him. He would say, “Mommy, mommy” whenever he sees anything that was mine, especially my clothes inside the cabinet. He would kiss our family picture and would say, “Mommy, daddy, me”. He would plainly look for me and say again, “Mommy.” Sometimes, he would wake up in the middle of the night sobbing. At his young age of two, it was so painful to know that he has separation anxiety. It was even more painful that I have to cope with my own separation anxiety. Writing in this blog was one my ways to keep myself sane. It gives me a sense of letting go, even for a while.

Eye Opener

Reading Bo Sanchez's weekly blog, "Practical Soulfood for Successful People" was a real eye opener for me. Since I am plagued with sickness right now, I chose to read the entry "Do You Want God to Heal You?". Yes, I wanted God to heal me. Even if chickenpox is viral in nature, I know God wanted the varicella virus to infect me so that I will open my eyes to what he wants me to see. I may have acted blind before, but I should not be anymore. I was spiritually sick and my only medicine is God's loving healing.

He wants me to locate the wound. He wants me to cleanse the wound. He wants me strengthen my body.. Because of these reasons... He wants me to be closer to Him. He wants me to pray more. He wants me to trust Him more. He wants me to live according to His Will. He wants me to love Him more.

From now on, every time I sense a physical symptom of a spiritual sickness, I should say this little prayer, " I feel totally, completely, perfectly loved by God." Of course, I should not forget how I was touched by the story of Gemma Pasimio, the cancer survivor. She lost everything, but she gained something more valuable --- inner peace and God's love. Her final testimony said: "With God at my side, I live one day at a time. Everyday is such a beautiful gift from Him. And I enjoy each day so much. I’m happy and at peace. God is my healer and I give my life to Him."

Scabs and Scars

Chicken pox is usually much milder in children, for whom hospitalization is usually not required, than it is in adults. This I researched from Microsoft Encarta. I so agree with this statement. Compared to my sister’s rash, blisters and scars, I can see that I have more of them. They are even concentrated all over my face. Talk about high visibility. I am admit that I got used to seeing my “altered and mutated” image on the mirror just today, the 4th day of this journey. Last Tuesday, it was hard for me to accept the painful reality that most rash and blisters were on my face.
I admit I got insecure with my physical beauty or what was left of it. I can’t say that I used to be really beautiful according to the average man’s standards. I can say I was uniquely pretty and petite, with my deep set eyes, natural complexion and be-dimpled smile. My face was not really smooth, as I had some small zits here and there. However, my face powder did wonders as a concealer of my flaws. I used to be contented with an even tone after applying it. Match it with my blackish brown eyebrow pencil and lipstick, and I was ready to go anywhere.
How can I hide my “flaws” now when they are really visible, with all the red rash and blisters, which will later turn into scabs and then scars? Is there a powder to do this “magic trick”? I don’t think so. I might look like white-washed pebbled pavement. How about using liquid foundation to even out the tone? I don’t think so. I might look like vanilla “Pinipig Crunch” (ice cream popsicle with nuts and rice crispies). I don’t even want to ask if I want to try putting on some concealer. The whole stick might be consumed at one time only. Wait, how about dermabrasion? How about diamond peel? How about skin bleaching? There are more options but these are the pricey ones. Besides, I need to budget for a dermatologist’s professional fee before paying for any of these procedures.
I am forecasting way too many scabs and scars on my face for the next days or so. How can I face this problem if the problem is really my face? Hmmm… I don’t know the answer for now. I need to find out the answers myself. I better do my research real quick. I only have a few days left before my deadline. I am now saying this mantra to myself and I quote my favorite Catholic preacher Bo Sanchez, “ Every storm will end.” Rightly said and well meant that is.

Late Bloomer

Yes, you read it right. I am such a real late bloomer for chickenpox. Just 3 weeks before turning 29 years old, I contracted the much-feared varicella virus. One of the symptoms was body malaise. Last Friday, I did not understand myself, particularly my body, why I was feeling weak. My joints especially my knees, were wobbly and quite painful. Even adding a cup over my daily cup of coffee was not helpful. I pitied my son who had to endure playing alone or watching tv alone, just because his Mommy was "busy" sleeping in bed. After my graduate school classes last Saturday, I also drank an extra cup of coffee. It also did not help. I slept again silly, even before my son's bedtime.

Last Sunday, I decided to make up for lost time with my son. We rented a tricyle and availed of the driver's services so that we can "tour" the town's pier, market, bay walk park, freedom park and nature park. We took some cute pictures. We also had a sumptuous lunch with my granddad and my grand uncle. It was practically a seafood feast. Knowing that I was seafood allergic, my mom reminded me not to eat anything that will cause me rashes, skin asthma, and whatever nightmares associated with allergies. The little devil in me tempted me to tasted just a small slice of squid. Sure enough, I have added it to my plate and consumed it along with some fish, vegetables and mangoes. I did not miss taking my prednisone tablet after the meal.

Some two hours later, I felt an itch in my lower back area. There was the urge to scratch it but I got curious of its appearance so I checked it in the mirror. Lo and behold! It seemed like a chickenpox red rash (small blister). I called my mom to check it for me. She confirmed it. I got the chickenpox. I had the symptom of body malaise and it was just the squid, which triggered the rash.

I was always vulnerable to catch it. For the last 29 years of my life, I was not able to get the varicella vaccine shot. My mom currently has shingles, a disease caused by the Herpes zoster virus. My eleven year old sister just recently contracted chickenpox. After all, the varicella virus is airborne. No matter how hard I tried not to catch it, I was really susceptible to get it. I was not like my son who got his varicella vaccine shot when he turned a year old. Even if he did, I reversely isolated him in our room. His main caregiver right now is his nanny. She is really a stay-out nanny who goes home every night at 6pm. Because of my current condition, she agreed to do stay-in services the whole day for a week or two, for an extra pay.

So, here I am on the 3rd day of nursing myself. The low fever has gone last Monday, but I am still suffering from rash and blisters all over my face. Some are in my chest, shoulders and back. There are very few in my legs and hands. I researched that as the disease progresses, the blisters break open and form scabs, which fall off after about one to two weeks. So, how will I be able to cope with the scabs, and scars later on?

Self-Diagnosis

When I was studying Psychology in college, I learned that Seasonal Affective Disorder is a type of depression that affects a person during the same season each year. If you get depressed in the winter but feel much better in spring and summer, you may have SAD.

Anyone can get SAD, but it is more common in:
• People who live in areas where winter days are very short or there are big changes in the amount of daylight in different seasons. – Not really true for me.
• Women. – Yes, I am one.
• People between the ages of 15 and 55. The risk of getting SAD for the first time goes down as you age. –Yes, I am twenty-something.
• People who have a close relative with SAD. – I guess I have a few.
That is three out of four. So, that makes me a candidate of SAD.

What causes SAD?
Experts are not sure what causes SAD, but they think it may be caused by a lack of sunlight. Lack of light may upset your sleep-wake cycle and other circadian rhythms. And it may cause problems with a brain chemical called serotonin that affects mood.
This explains my blues nowadays.

What are the symptoms?
If you have SAD, you may:
• Feel sad, grumpy, moody, or anxious. – Yes, I do.
• Lose interest in your usual activities. – Yes, I do.
• Eat more and crave carbohydrates, such as bread and pasta. – Not really.
• Gain weight. – Yes, I do.
• Sleep more and feel drowsy during the daytime. – Yes, I do.
Symptoms come and go at about the same time each year. For most people with SAD, symptoms start in September or October and end in April or May.
So, I may have to endure this long huh?

How is it treated?
Doctors often prescribed light therapy to treat SAD. There are two types of light therapy:
• Bright light treatment. For this treatment, you sit in front of a "light box" for half an hour or longer, usually in the morning.
• Dawn simulation. For this treatment, a dim light goes on in the morning while you sleep, and it gets brighter over time, like a sunrise.

Light therapy works well for most people, and it is easy to use. I may just have to try this. I may start to feel better within a week or so after you start light therapy. I need to stick with it and use it every day until the season changes. If I don't, my depression could come back.

Autumnal Equinox

Never too late for me to discover that last September 24, 209 was autumnal equinox this year. It marks the beginning of the autumn season in the Northern hemisphere. Here in the Philippines, it starts the cold months which will end on March 21st of the following year. I sensed that I started getting some doses of depression the past few weeks. Why am I sad? Is it seasonal in nature? Is it because I have SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder)?

Reawakening

When I was younger, I used to write a lot. I loved expressing my innermost thoughts and desires. I loved sharing interesting tidbits of information about myself and my world. I loved jotting down poems that rhymed. I even kept a journal with all my unpublished poems when I was in secondary school. Suddenly, I stopped writing when I entered college. I really don’t know what happened and why it happened. Maybe because I was too preoccupied submitting the research papers, reaction papers, synthesis papers and all the other requirements in the university. Maybe I was too happy hanging out with my new friends back then. Maybe I was too embarrassed to tell them that I was a self-confessed romantic writer. Maybe I became too busy with work and my romantic relationship. Oh, yes! I remember that I wrote a lot of love letters to my then-boyfriend and now-husband. But this habit also died on our first year of marriage. Maybe it was just plain laziness on my part. No matter what the reason was, I regret not writing again. I am correcting it now. I am back. I am happy about this.

Deciding Factor

Today, I am happy to say that I declined the offer. I had a breather from my thinking cap and just tossed it aside. I said I should decide from my heart and mind. Both of them in tandem, I chose temporary full-time motherhood to prioritize my son over my job. Why? I realized the facts rather late... The deciding factor (though not mentioned in the resignation letter) was the job was risky. It required me to do some "mountaineering". I was scared of what might happen to me out in the field. To add insult to injury, we did not have health insurance, transportation allowance (not even transportation vehicle), and food allowance. We just depended on our salary. To top it all, our boss did not care about us. He did not give us moral support. :(

It was a major record breaker. For somebody who worked for 3 multi-national companies for years, and then tried her 'luck' in the government sector, I survived for only 1 month. I resigned from my job today. I guess I did the decision-making process well, no matter how confusing it was at first. I am not just sure yet if I made the right decision. I am praying I did. :)

Chess Game

I confess that I was wordless for 2 days. I did not know how to start writing about my demise.

Let us just consider it a major confusion on my party. I was hesitant to make my move, caught in the chess game of office politics for a while. Yesterday, I stood up for myself and submitted my resignation. What was my boss's reaction? He got the shock of his life. :p He was speechless when I told him I needed to resign because I needed to prioritize my son as his babysitter will be leaving us soon. I emphasized that nobody will take care of him while I am at work (okay, it's more of field work!). He offered me a week of vacation leave while I find and train a new babysitter. I was more confused. Being a traditional working mom, I was leaning towards balancing my family and career. I almost caught the 'bait'...

Strawberry Shortcake

Trying to kick the post-seminar hangover, I happily bought salted and sugar coated peanuts before field work last Monday.

Suddenly, my bubble burst in the afternoon when I saw that my skin rashes were back with a vengeance . They were like red and white small pox in my face, arms and legs. I looked like Strawberry Shortcake, except I did not wear a cute hat. :( I also felt light-headed and thought I had migraine headache. I realized I had all the symptoms of a food allergy attack. Mad at myself for eating much peanuts, and wondering for a solution to my demise, I went home as soon as I could.

My parents were kinda worried about my allergy attack. They bought me Virlix, which I took obediently. I was relieved temporarily since it has a drowsy effect, and I was able to sleep soundly.

Yesterday, Heaven bestowed me a blessing: my memory! I remembered that Prednisone was a generic name of an antihistamine prescribed to me by my allergologist when I was hospitalized in December 2008 for a skin asthma attack. I went to my sister's pediatrician because she lives a few blocks away. After giving her a brief medical background, she gave me her prescription, including Prednisone's dosage and frequency. She said could have had skin asthma if I did not get a medical check-up right away. Such a life saver. :) Now, I guess I am on my road to recovery. :)

I am promising not to eat any food allergen from now. The horrible incident taught me a lesson the hard way. No more food adventures, food challenges, food experiments and what-not. Hahaha. :D

Chicken and Eggs

I used to like fried chicken so much. Thanks, Kenny Rogers and KFC. :) Omelet was a staple breakfast item too.

Not till last year... I was confined for 1 week after eating those two to my dismay. They were added to my other kiddie allergens: yummy seafood (crabs, lobsters, shrimps, squid). I am such a whiner in the food department because I realized the best things in life are not really free. :(

In the first day of my recent seminar, Mr. Hubby called me just to say hello and share something that bothered him. We were enjoying our conversation for a good deal of 15 minutes (overseas call is pretty expensive), when he discovered I was starving as it was in the middle of our lunch break. So, I rushed back to the training room, only to find out that the only dish left in the table was fried chicken. Left with no choice and so little time, I was able to eat my top food allergen, with hesitation. I was grateful that I did not feel a single itch after that incident.

That good feeling did not last long. Adventurous me challenged my immune system and ate the omelet and corned beef served during breakfast the next day. Before lunchbreak, I saw rashes in my fingers and before lunch time was over, I was itchy all over. I even asked the training officer to excuse for 15 minutes since I needed to buy antihestamines. The pharmist gave me Zerlex. It gave me temporary relief for good deal of 2 days. However, I still felt some itchiness and some rashes were still visible.

Food for the Soul

I must admit that I am magazine addict. I collected Cosmopolitan mags when I was a working single gal. I have been collecting Smart Parenting mags ever since Little Gavin turned 1 year old. It comes with the age bracket and interest. ;)

I confess that I have been buying a few random issues of Kerygma mag, the number 1 Catholic magazine in the country, ever since I started working way back 2001. Last week, I was able to buy the June 2009 issue. It moved me. It encouraged me to be better as a person. It inspired me to be a Student for Life again. It taught me to keep on learning, as wisdom is as important as love. Amen to this.

I decided to subscribe to the magazine on a monthly basis. Not all addictions are bad. This is one is certainly good for me. It is food for my soul.

Sensibly Fulfilling

I attended a 3-day seminar last Thursday til Saturday on a nearby province. The training was comprehensive, and half-fun and half-boring. Confusing? Hmmm, let me explain.

It was half-fun because of the laughter from icebreaker sessions. It was half-boring because the topics were deadly serious. Most importantly, it was comprehensive because it covered many useful inputs, that will help alleviate the lives of the rural poor in the province, thru massive land titling of agricultural lands. Even if we will do field work later on, I think the job is quite fulfilling in the that sense.

For more information on the things on my plate, please visit this webbie:

http://www.phil-lamp.org/

Hubby was Alleged A(H1N1) Victim

Mr. Hubby is a seasoned seafarer. In fact, he is a ship officer of an international cargo ship, which travels to and fro Asia and North America. He left the country last May 7, 2009 on board a plane bound for South Korea.

A week later, their ship docked in the waters of China. Due to extreme exhaustion, the stress from turn-overs and endorsements from the outgoing officer, and change of weathers, he suffered over-fatigue and high fever chills. Before his hours of duty were over, he was rushed to the nearest hospital by his fellow officer and Chinese agent/interpreter. After many minutes of interrogation, both in English and Chinese, he was referred to a nearby bigger hospital. His was a suspected case of A(H1N1) flu virus, as he was showing the symptoms, and they found out he came from South Korea.

Upon their arrival in the bigger hopsital, he was placed in the quarantine for alleged A(H1N1) patients. Even if he wanted to lie on a nice comfortable bed, but left with no choice, he was asked to rest on a reclining chair. Some nurses performed the routine blood tests, and another bout of interrogation began. He told his agent that he wanted some medicines as he was already weak. To prove his point, he said, "Why would you ask more questions? Please check the letter from the other hospital. I am dying here. Please help me." The doctor gave him some medicines to address his cough, colds and fever. These helped him sleep. When he woke up the next day, he was told of his blood test results. They said he was safe and he can go back to the ship anytime. After all, they found out it just a mild case of flu. He was given a prescription for antibiotics.

Back home, the whole night that Mr. Hubby faced this horrible ordeal, I was not able to sleep right away. Somehow, I felt that he was in trouble and I was worrying for him, fearing the unknown. It was only after he relayed the experience thru SMS that I felt better, knowing that he got better. He has gone back to the ship, in time for their trip to Japan.

Pieces of Me

Before starting this blog, i decided to keep my identity private. However, to make my readers understand me better, let me share some facts about me. I am trying to be as discreet as I can be, to keep my goal of privacy. :)

Personal Particulars

Zodiac Sign: Scorpion

Nickname of Spouse: Mr. Hubby / Mr. Honey

Nickname of Son: Little Gavin

Incentives for Vaccine

Last Tuesday, my toddler son had his IPD vaccine shot. Classical conditioning was evident when he saw the syringe brought by the nurse. He understood that he will again be "bitten" by the syringe. He hugged me tightly and cried his heart out. The nurse held his legs and I held his arms. He cried even more when his pediatrician did the injection in his left shoulder area. What a pity! If only, moms could receive the syringe shots intended for their babies, I could have easily volunteered.

My son's tantrum did not last long. He played with some toys right away. To my relief, he was given a cute orange basket ball by his doctor. An incentive it is for being such a hassle-free patient. :)

After a hearty lunch in a Chinese resto, I let him play in the mall's playground. That was his 2nd incentive for the day for being a good boy and happy eater. :) I discovered he can already slide on his own, with his nanny's help in going up there. Beaming with pride and joy, I captured that moment on video. :)

Dormant Shopaholic

Sometimes, it is better to carefully wish for something. It might come true. I have been craving for stress the past few uneventful days. I surely got what I wanted. Yes, I got loads of stress on my recent trip to a nearby city over the weekend. I had to get and en-cash my last paycheck.

I was supposed to be there for less than 12 hours. I rushed since I had to make sure everything in my shopping list will be bought. However, time was never on my side with the traffic jams, lunch with my brother and sister, and my fickle-mindedness. Before I took the boat ride on my way home, I did not realize right away that I shopped more than what I needed. To my horror, I consumed half the amount of my check. It is such a waste to cry over spilled milk now. I learned my lesson the hard way... from money gone too soon.:(

Last Pay

Finally, after almost 4 months from my resignation, I got my last paycheck. After many follow-ups with the Finance Department, and sheer anticipation and a little impatience, I reaped the fruits of my labor.

It is really typical for an outsourcing company to release last paychecks in a not-so-timely manner. I must admit this is an understatement, What must be wrong? I can't help but wonder. Is it because of wrong procedures? Or is it because of wrong people hired?

Summer Rain

Let me share a text message I recently received:

" The A(H1N1) influenza virus is airborne. Ecologists say that the rain cleanses the air. We, Filipinos, wonder why we experience rain during summer season. Wonder no more. Just thank God that the air that we breathe is cleansed by the rain."

I agree to this. Amen. :-)

Half-full

Recently, the administrator of the company spilled the beans: I was due for transfer to another department effective next month. Yehey! :) I accepted this news whole-heartedlybecause my educational degree will be very suited to the new position. However, I did not really show my excitement since I was still very new and my officemates said they will really miss me and my being so hardworking. So much for being a hard worker... ;)

Everyone read the memo which was circulated, except my boss, who was on leave during the announcement. Upon his return, he disliked the idea since " I played a very important role on the ongoing special project". He said I can be moved, but after the completion of the project. Not just yet. Just when I thought I could be transferred. Damn! :(

Most people say some good things never last forever. It seems true this time.

Well, this could be a challenge. I am seeing it positively. I am seeing the glass half-full. :)

Just Because

Just because my eyes do not water does not mean my heart does not cry...

Just because I came out strong, does not mean there is nothing wrong...

Just because I have a calm facade does not mean I have no inner struggles..

Often, I choose to to pretend I am happy so I do not have to explain myself to others who never understand..

Smiling has always been easier than explaining why I am sad...

Mindless

At work, when we pretend that we are doing something, but we are not really doing anything at all, that is the hardest task to accomplish. :(

When i used to work in 3 multinational corporations, I have never encountered this mindless task. There was always something to be busy about. Or should I say, I was always multi-tasking. Yes, tasks were aplenty. I had my hands full all the time.

When I transferred to a new office recently, I realized that after a certain task is done, I was always anxious to find another task to deal with. It seems there was none. The hard worker that I am, I find myself restless to do something. As job positions were redundant, each officemate in his/her respective cubicle has either something or nothing to do. What a waste of time and resources of the company.

Zero Waste

They say that a mind is a terrible thing to waste. Thus, I decided to blog again…

Welcome to My Chillout Lounge – my personal space for random thoughts on random topics, my online diary, and my cyber confidante’.