Missing Me

My life seemed uni-dimensional ever since my husband left for work abroad. I just became a mother to my Little Gavin. My universe revolved around him, taking care of him, and addressing his needs. This is not to complain about motherhood. In fact, I am enjoying it very much. I just sensed some things were amiss ever since May 2009.

It has been four long months that I considered myself a single mom, because nothing can really replace the physical presence of my dear husband. I became a part-time daughter because even if I get to see my parents on a daily basis, we have had less meaningful tasks. They have their careers and their own concerns. I became a part-time sister, because all my siblings are either busy in school or busy at work or busy with their own worlds. I became a non-existent friend. I used to spend a lot of time with my old pals from elementary and high school. Then, time became less and less scarce as years passed by. When I went to college, had three jobs and got married, I saw them less and less frequently.

Even if I have social networking accounts where I can be kept abreast with what’s happening with my significant others, I still miss them. Again, nothing can replace person-to-person communication. I miss the loving kisses, warm hugs and sweet moments with my husband. I miss the easy banter and meaningful talks with my whole family over breakfasts, lunches and dinners. I miss chit-chatting, watching movies, social drinking and bar-hopping with my friends. Life without these and without them is empty. I don’t have my precious time with them, not by choice, but by circumstance. I miss my old life. I miss the old me. When can I get out of this rut?